If I Made the Movies
One of the things that gets me through the blazing heat of August is Turner Classic Movies and their Summer Under the Stars. I love to sit in a cool room with some needlework and watch movies all day. But I can’t help thinking – What if I had been around to make movies during the Golden Age of Hollywood? What would they have looked like? (Cue camera dissolve and harp music…)
The Widow Wore White (1947)
A string of wealthy men die mysteriously within days of their weddings – the only clues are lace-edged handkerchiefs clasped to their lips. A new husband, Peter Lorre, rushes into Sam Spade’s office after discovering the pattern, to accuse his wife, Lana Turner, and beg for protection. Turner swears she is innocent. Can Humphrey Bogart unravel the clues and capture the real killer?
Husbands played by Sydney Greenstreet, Charles Coburn, and Edward Everett Horton.
Captain Dyefast (1937)
Synopsis: Errol Flynn is unjustly condemned to hard labor in the jungles of Verde Azul, to harvest the Lazuli-wood trees. He leads a band of men (including Alan Hale, Herbert Mundin, and Eugene Pallette) to freedom aboard a captured ship. They rename her the Mordant, and sail the Seven Seas, seizing cargoes of precious dyestuffs and re-distributing them to poor dyers around the world.
To Catch A Couturier (1956)
Synopsis: State Department staffer Cary Grant must ferret out which European fashion designer is passing top secret information to the Communists. A mousy typist, Grace Kelly, is reassigned to assist him. After a quick make-over, she poses as his beautiful society girlfriend. As they cross Europe to spy in all the leading fashion houses, Kelly quickly realizes that the signal code is based on the way the models arrange their brooches, earrings, and bracelets, but holds off revealing her discovery until her wardrobe is complete! Will they realize they are meant for each other?
Designers played by Danny Kaye, Eve Arden, and Nancy Walker – with cameos by Audrey Hepburn and Christian Dior!
Space Warp (1957)
Synopsis: Aliens come to earth and cause fear and disorder in society by merely altering the colors of everything from flowers to kittens to food. This B-movie has achieved a cult following for its use of early op art effects and disorienting colors. While the plot is supposedly about alien invaders, like many other movies of its time it was a commentary on the public’s disquieting ability to “see red” where it did not actually exist. Cameos by Bela Lugosi and Michael Caine.
(harp music signals return to reality) Well, those are some of the movies I wish I could watch! I could go on and on – I haven’t even gotten to Esther Williams, Red Skelton, or Busby Berkeley yet!
Sources: all movie star photos are in the public domain and are from Wikimedia Commons. The background photos and textiles are my own. I’ve had Adobe Photoshop Elements 3.0 for about ten years, but I learned a lot more about it while creating these posters!
I think the Texas heat is getting to you, girl! But in a very amusing way! 🙂
These are the things I think about while I am working in the garden or walking the sheep! 🙂
Oh my gosh!!!!! Loved these!!! So funny and with those synopses, I’d love to see them all! This part really cracked me up: “…Kelly quickly realizes that the signal code is based on the way the models arrange their brooches, earrings, and bracelets, but holds off revealing her discovery until her wardrobe is complete!” And then, “Will they realize they are meant for each other?” 😂💕
Thank you! I love how they worked fashion shows into those old movies, and I could gladly watch more of them!
This is great. I love your take on these old movies. You may be onto something here…Lol…
Great to connect with you through Snow’s Secret Santa link up 🙂
This is so creative. It must have been a lot of fun (and a lot of learning) to put together. These are movies that should be made!
Thank you! Maybe one day computers will be able to piece movies like that together out of old footage and new graphics! 🙂
Hi Texan lady (a name would be great or a pseudonym perhaps?), great to drop by your blog. Thanks to our common friend. This is a neat premise, to combine your love for textiles and old films. I love the classics, so it shall amuse you immensely to think that I was wondering why I had missed out on these. I was going to research them too till I read the title of this post all over again. 🙂 The titles of the listed movies are certainly racy. They got me! The stories too.
P.S.: Humphrey Bogart can solve anything. A murderer is but penny change for him.
I blog as TextileRanger and my name is Gwen Lanning. It appears on the home page and in the sidebar of each post, (on a desktop computer anyway, I don’t know about on a mobile version).
It is so nice of you to drop by, I love your blog!
I’m glad to find someone else who loves the classics: we would all be happy if some new ones were discovered, wouldn’t we? It was fun to create those posters for some I wish were real. 🙂
I must have missed your name, Gwen. I can be obtuse at times. But the crux of the matter is that it’s lovely to meet you. Thank you for your kind words there. And real is as real does. We can all create our parallel (non-destructive) worlds of reality. 🙂
No problem, it’s a busy world, I know we all miss things. And it is lovely to meet you too, you leave such thoughtful comments!
And you are right about creating our own parallel worlds — I feel a duty to keep up with the news, bad as it usually is, but when it comes to entertainment, I choose my own time zones — books from the 1800s and movies from the ’30s and ’40s. 🙂
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